Easter Sunday

I have been struggling this week.

I went home to LA last week for Aaron and I to do our engagement photo shoot and my mom wanted to throw a mini engagement dinner for just our family. 

Everything for one reason or another, went very weird.  I somehow ended up making two of my closest friends randomly mad at me and ended up crying at my engagement dinner.

I felt very attacked and I guess it was my first lesson that you can't take anything personal when planning a wedding and somehow people always think they know better or want to disagree with your plans.

We made the mistake of saying "this is about us getting married, if people don't want to be a part of it they don't have to be."  Somehow that set off my stepdad in to this weird rant as I just sat there crying.  Unfortunately I was trapped in the awkward back corner of the table and couldn't even get up to leave.

I emailed him the next morning to apologize and I still haven't heard back from him.  This hurts me more than I can even explain.  I'm sure he meant to get back to me or hasn't gotten the email but I've built it up in my head that he hates me now.  ...I know that's not true but that's my girl brain working.

So yes, I've been struggling.

I feel so blessed that I found this most fantastic church here in San Diego that has Sunday evening services because I work every Sunday morning. 

This is not a huge church by the way.  Our church only started in 2000.  We actually hold service at Kearny High School in the auditorium.  I know that a church is the people and not the location but that threw me for a loop the first time we went.  But honestly, this is the best church I've ever been to.

We went to the Easter service last night.  The church had set a goal a couple months ago to raise 100 thousand dollars for Haiti, after they had done a ministry trip there. 

When they announced that goal I thought that there was no way it could be accomplished and I'm sad that I have so little faith in the congregation in these hard economic times. 

They announced the total at the end of the service and our church is now sending 219 thousand dollars to Haiti. 

I couldn't believe it. 

All things are possible through God and I'm starting to believe that more.

I need to stop being so selfish.  The wedding isn't just about Aaron and I.  It's about a group of people who have helped us along the way. 

I need to stop complaining to the people who have been generous in helping us.  I just wanted everyone to understand that I'm doing everything I can to have a nice wedding with the people that are closest to us. 

We could have thrown a decently nice wedding for 100 people but have decided that it's more important to treat those 50 people to a wonderful sit down dinner to celebrate with us.

That's all I wanted to say.

I guess I just have to call him....